Been there, done that! Now just get back up on your horse and you know what to do. I think this is one reason why there are so many horses... This is not the 'sobriety religious' thing to say, but don't think it will be your last either. Who needs that pressure. It is a day by day, hour by hour, sometimes a minute by minute thing. You drank, deal with it, now is your present, your drink was in the past. The good thing (IMO) is that you posted it, got it out, now go forward and don't drink!
For the record, I like Intervention as well (but haven't drank during it - yet), I love Hoarders (especially when things around me are messy), and I need to add that I also love My 600 lb Life (especially since I am now on my new weight loss journey).
Do you attend any groups? I love AA, it only costs $1.00 but you don't 'have' to put a dollar in the basket, people say "What is said in the room stays in the room" (but I know for a fact that this is not true, since one day while minding my own business after the meeting, just absorbing the quiet and what I had heard during the meeting that had resonated with me - the leader of that meeting broke my peace and quiet to introduce himself and start telling me about 'his story' and about the hypocrites in the room, pointing out specific people that 'shared' in that meeting - at which point I excused myself and vowed to always remember that moment and never say anything in AA that I did not want to be said outside of AA). But that being said, truly no one cares who I am (I avoided my home group location because it is closest to my home - which was why I finally went there 'that day' I hit my bottom, since some reasoning still existed in my drunk brain that day that if I was going to finally go to AA to try and finally stop drinking, I might as well go to the closest one, to help reduce that chance that I would get my second DUI that day, which while then currently on a 2 year probation could have resulted in suspension of my drivers license and some jail time).
A good friend online told me (she was a 25 year sober person) during my early terrible days of sobriety, to go to a meeting. At first I asked why? She said she did not know how to tell me why, but that I should just go. She said that I might not know it yet, but that my sobriety was more important then my kids, my marriage and my job (believe it or not, I did not think that then), and that if I do nothing else, I should just go to meetings. So I did. We repeated this over and over and over since she was kind of my online sponsor (I refuse to get a sponsor in AA after having a disastrous first one, then a second one who gave me rules, and I don't do rules with other alcoholics), and when I was feeling weak, or depressed, or like drinking might be a good reason, she would say "Just go to a meeting". At some point in my sobriety I finally understood why she said what she said. When I meet 'newbies' now (I hate the term, since I feel like a 'newbie' daily) and they ask the questions that are so hard to answer, so complex too, but I get their urgent desire to 'fix' what they are trying to fix, my simple answer is "Just go to meetings". Then when they stare at me waiting for the wise answer to come, I say "Just keep coming back, one day it will make sense to you."
So, whatever group you are in, just go to one. Or if you like to pray, just say a prayer. If you like to walk, just go for a walk. If you like to..........you get it, just do it.
Thanks for your great post! You helped me today with your post! And that is a blessing you have bestowed on me. Thank you!