Originally Posted by
Doug39 
I have been going to AA meetings for almost 2 months now. I go to at least 6 meetings a week. I have been to lead meetings, big book study and discussion group meetings.
That's great you have been going to meetings and experiencing different types of meetings. Just know that meetings don't keep us sober. It unfortunately doesn't work by osmosis although most of us wish it did. ;-)
I have learned a lot, gotten some phone numbers and met some good people.
Knowledge doesn't get us sober, either. (I wish it did!!) That's good you got phone numbers and met some good people--that's the fellowship part of the recovery piece.
But after hearing other people tell their stories and make comments I feel like I am not working the program properly. I really haven't gotten a solid sponsor yet, and I am not sure if I want one. I know I need to talk to someone to complete my fifth step. I don't know if I want to impose on someone.
We cannot work the 12 step program without a sponsor. I'm not sure I understand how you're already on your 5th step without a sponsor? Sponsors sponsor people to help them and to help themselves. It's what we do. The 12th step says that we carry this message to others. Our way of giving back what was given to us freely, is to help those who are still sick and suffering. It's not an imposition.
I just want a spiritual awakening and to be happy with my life. I sometimes just feel like quitting AA because I don't feel like I am doing it right. I guess I am just looking to fit in somewhere since I don't fit in with the drinkers anymore.
The only way to get a spiritual awakening is to work Steps 1-9 and then keep the spiritual awakening and growing it by living in Steps 10-12 every day.
Please don't quit. Are there sponsor at the Big Book meetings?
Advice would be appreciated.
I hope my experience/advice was helpful. Keep us posted. You have the willingness and that's a huge step. I'm sure a sponsor would be happy to work with someone with your willingness.