Feeling better today for two reasons:
1: I'm just going to go and tell him it's a baby shower for DIL. He's going to assume it's "women only" (actually, it's going to be 90% women) so I'm not anticipating any drama in my going and leaving him home.
2: Nothing like a little anger to dispel sympathy. I was away all week on business, as I said, and I came home to find out that he spent $540. About $150 was on liquor, about 100 on convenience store stuff like cigars and soda, etc, $150 on food (half of it expensive take-out) and $200 is unaccounted for (withdrawn as cash).
Here's a new dynamic in my situation. My BIL is not alcoholic, but pretty dysfunctional. His mother enabled him until she died in 2010. To make a VERY long story short, he's living with us temporarily, and he's a crabby, needy man with no job skills. So now AH has a partner in crime. The two of them whooping it up on my dime. BIL is broke until we sell the house that he's half owner of (with AH as the other half).
Time to go back to leaving AH cash in an envelope. If they run out of money on Tuesday.. too bad.