New and learning
Hi - I am a recovering co-addict. Just started alanon last week and it is giving me hope. I am interested in any hope/experiences similar to mine.
I met my husband 10 years ago. He was in recovery at that time and had been for over 5 years. I knew nothing of alcoholism/addiction other than what I had seen on TV. His life at the time was managed well and we hit it off and long story short, we married 2.5 years later.
About 10 months ago he started smoking pot (previous drug of choice was primarily alcohol). And over the course of those months, it increased steadily - no shock to anyone here, I'm sure. Around month 6 or so, I started educating myself more and more on addiction, recovery, etc, still believing my answer was for him to stop. I've since learned otherwise thanks to alanon.
His abuse of pot began to affect our finances so I took measures to protect myself financially as much as I could and separated our accounts. That boundary has remained intact since November.
But a couple weeks ago I finally kicked him out. I just couldn't stand the lying, sneaking around, spending...you know all of the things! In those two weeks I started attending alanon and realized how I've become ill by focusing on him and what he is doing, needs to do, etc. rather than on myself. This was HUGE. And gives me hope.
I have a lot to learn - I know this. I do realize the question is no longer, can I trust him when he tells me he will cut back/quit/etc. I realize the question is simply, can I live with someone in active addiction and maintain detachment or not? I do not know the answer yet.
I am seeking wisdom from my higher power to know what to do.
Thank you for reading my post.