It took me a lot longer than you to realize I am an ACoA. I had moved back in with my parents after a break up with an addict left me broke. Just a few months in and my step dad got sick with cancer.... I stayed with mom after he passed... but a few years later, I just cannot do it anymore.
Mom is a high functioning alcoholic; she is so far from rock bottom. But it leaves her forgetting things constantly... what she has said, what I say, who did what around the house, and how things happened in my childhood.... plus, her negative moods and passive aggressive attacks...
One night she exploded on me over a political discussion. She was drunk. Long story short, she "kicked me out" (I pay rent, bills, food, and clean the entire house plus favors for her.) This was around April last year I think?
So... I set myself on a course to get out. I got a promotion at work. Fixed my credit. And tomorrow my daughters and I move into our own apartment! Woot!
I've held my breath and kept my foot in my mouth this entire time.... just waiting for my opportunity. And.... I FEEL HORRIBLE about "leaving her".... I've promised to still come around and help out with some things. But I imagine I'll be easily sucked into responsibilities that are not mine again. Tricky road to walk...
I hope you find the courage to do this! You CAN do this! And... you totally should! You have an entire life ahead of you just waiting :-)
On a side note.... I don't talk to my real dad. I have NO guilt about that. I cut him out about 6/7 years ago.... One of the best decisions I ever made.