Steve
I can't remember if you've tried AA or if you're open to that. The steps are a great way to get to the root causes of mal-adaptive behavior. Not just drinking, but other issues as well.
I have found that addicts, on the whole, are pretty smart people. And a good percentage are very smart. Thinking, thinking, thinking. And stubborn. I have to learn it may way, in my own time, on my own terms. That was me. And I thought, intellectualized, theorized, philosophized my way into a corner (not to mention a complete mess). I was totally beat. No amount of thinking was going to get me out of this corner. Faith got me out. Thinking is exhausting. Especially about something over which I had no control. Unfortunately I had to learn this for myself.
I was not incapable of seeing other alcoholics as my crystal ball to what would come for me if I kept drinking. For me it was faith or die.