I'm sorry this is such a struggle for you right now Liz. I know you've worked SO hard to try to jump this hurdle & it's just not coming together easily. I know people who have worked in this industry for years & still struggle with the testing - you are definitely not alone.
I brought up the same points as sparklekitty & anvil in previous threads about this - I keep hearing you say you HAVE to & NEED to do this, but I don't ever get the impression that you WANT it. I'm sure that's playing into your lack of interest about studying.
These situations are always so difficult for me to manage - I can't force myself to connect to the information when I don't have any passion for the topic - I just have to put blinders on to everything else & force myself to buckle down until it's over. Good Luck!!