I know this isn't what you want to hear, but marrying him probably wouldn't be the best idea at this point. I married my AH, thinking that he would get better or that I could "help", but we all know that can't happen. He needs to want help and get help on his own. I don't regret marrying my husband because I love him, but if I had it to do all over again, I would've waited until he had at least a year of sobriety before I married him or just run in the opposite direction.