Just remember, it's going to be alright. As long as you want it too. You have my support and everyone here. I do believe you resent yourself and in the perception you have it is towards him. It probably wasn't clear for you at the time it could lead to this. But don't blame him. He just introduced you to your real self and you started playing the role. I'm in the same situation. And now that I know who I am, I am trying to change the part. We can get through this together!