radishes

Hi all,
I am new and not sure where this question belongs. My husband and I are a bottle of wine a night drinkers. We would put down close to a bottle a piece after the kids go to bed. We would stay up talking and it was always our favorite part of the day. We both talked for years about the harm its causing our bodies and that as the kids get older, not wanting them to be aware of our little party every night. Live by example - we don't want them drinking in high school, yet they come home to us tanked sort of thing. Anyhow, I had an unexpected, late in life pregnancy that was a blessing - instantly that line turned, I quit smoking and drinking. After the baby was born, I never resumed the cigs, but sadly, the wine came back (when my son was about 2 months old). My hubby never really gave it up completely while I was pregnant. He still had some here and there. I kind of hated that, but it was his choice. After the baby was born, the stress of a newborn wore on him and I noticed wine back in the house again. Rather than his coming to bed shortly after I did (I was always down early with a nursing baby) he'd stay up and have a glass or two. Then after a few months, he kept asking me to join him, saying he missed us staying up late talking. Of course, so did I, but I didn't want the booze back in my life. One night, he brought me a glass of wine into the bedroom while I was with a sleeping baby. I didn't ask for it. He thought I was stressed. I drank it and the rest is history. You get that warm and fuzzy feeling and its like an old cozy sweater. Fast forward a few months later and we were staying up again, a couple glasses late at night when all the kids were asleep, talking, laughing. All seemed right with the world - except that the booze was back. Sure, neither of us was getting so tanked we couldn't function or be a safety hazard to the kids, but if you drink 2-3 glasses of wine every night, you are sure not totally clear headed and headed down the path of addiction. It was a habit I enjoyed. I have gone days without it and not had physical issues, so I know I am not dependent - yet. But, I can't seem to give it up.
A month ago, miraculously (I feel) my hubby woke up one day and was done drinking. Just like that. No plan to do it, it just happened. I feel so happy for him, but I am angry, resentful and jealous that it came that easy for him. Angry that I feel he lured me back into that boozing zone, then bailed. I know I took that first drink, I am responsible for me and its not his fault. But deep down, I do hate him for dangling that in my face, making it just too easy for me to get back into it. Knowing its my responsibility to take control of my life should ease my anger with him, but its been a month, and I am still resentful.
I also feel like the big looser in all of this. That because I just can't let go of it yet, that I am the drinker, the bad mother. I am the one talking too loudly, with that alcohol breath. Why can't I put my family first and just give it up is what I ask myself? Still, I am angry at him because I was free of it for over a year and he pulled me back in. Hating myself for not being strong enough to say no and just let him enjoy the wine by himself. I just feel defeated and want to feel joy for him. Any advise on any of this (my feelings towards him, my own drinking habit, etc) would help so much! Thanks!