Originally Posted by
Nonsensical 
When I first had the same realization I found it both comforting and terrifying.
Now it is just comforting.
You can do this.
It is very scary. However the days last week that I was sober I enjoyed waking up and not dragging. I keep trying to figure out how to do this. I realize there is only one way. That is to just do it. Even if I could go to inpatient or outpatient treatment, it is ultimately my decision whether or not I drink. A treatment program, regardless of what it is, will only work if you fully commit to it. This isn't going to be easy, but it will be worth it.