I'm so sorry.. I'm dealing with my 58 yr old uncle right now. Trying my best to coax him into a better life without alcohol. Even though I'm not sober myself yet he knows what I've been through and he sounds like he wants a little guidance. He is totally clueless. He lives 4 hours away so I don't get to visit but we talk everyday now. He sounds better. I'm not judgmental. I just try to help. Telling him that there are "men's" AA meetings, so he doesn't have any distractions. We can only help ourselves, but we can try to help others as best we can. But ultimately we are on our own.
My father died at 48 of alcoholism. Please don't feel guilty.
Sending prayers..