Is it guilt or is it fear of his reaction? Once you've been trained to feel continually responsible for his moods and reactions and walk on eggshells to avoid setting him off, this feels like setting off a bomb.
I'm glad you have a plan to be safe, just in case. Seems like most just sink into self-pity, victimization and the bottle, but for those who are control freaks as well as addicts, you have to be prepared, yes?
You're choosing you over his drinking, because he has chosen his drinking over you.