Hi Musiclady- Welcome and I'm sorry you have to be here. I'm right there with you regarding emotional abuse, codependency and not recognizing your husband anymore. For better or worse, I'm the main breadwinner in our family so that presents a different set of advantages and challenges. My husband refused to leave our home even though I was the one making the payments. My son and I are back in the home now and AH is looking for an apartment. One thing I'll say is that I guess you never know how they're going to react once you finally leave. My husband changed his attitude in a number of ways, for now anyway, but I'm proceeding with a divorce. Good luck to you!