Hi everyone! I wanted to introduce myself because I think I'll be around here quite often
I've been drinking since I was 15, nearing 30 now. Heavily the past 7 or so years. Something clicked and I just realized how I am living is so wrong. I started drinking because I didn't like myself, I lacked confidence and couldn't make friends. But all drinking did was make me act like an idiot and push people away further. I've embarrassed myself for the last time (due to alcohol at least ha!) I was completely blacking out nearly nightly, hiding bottles, sneaking drinks when people would leave the room, worrying when I'd get the next drink, scrounging for change to buy more... My adult life so far has revolved around alcohol, and I know I'll have to learn to just "be" without it. I really have no clue who I am. Honestly, I'm so scared but hopeful. I think this forum will be a place of comfort and resource for me.
I have two daughters, who I really thought weren't effected by my drinking. How clouded my head was. I know I can't go back, so I'm going to try every day to do my best for them and hope they don't grow up and resent me.
Anyway, I'm on day 5. The physical stuff I think is passed, thank goodness. Had the shakes, sweats, headaches, insomnia, hallucinations. I wish I would have gotten medical help and made it a bit more comfortable, but oh well.
I have been looking into AA meetings in my area. I'm pretty nervous about going to the first one, but I'm sure once I get that one out of the way it won't be so bad.
Thanks for having me here and I can't wait to get to know you guys
