Hi Try2
I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this.
There are a lot links in this thread and I hope you'll read them, maybe call some numbers when it's safe to do so?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html
Noone deserves to be abused.
Noone deserves to be an alcoholic either.
As regards you're drinking, you're not alone - we may not be 'real life' flesh & blood but the support here is very real.
Please keep posting.
D