Welcome back!
I think you actually stated the solution:
I decided last night that I needed to come back here, get to a meeting, and figure out whatever needs figuring out.
There's lots of wisdom here. People who have been where you are can share with you what worked for them and what didn't. Sometimes you'll read a post here totally unrelated to an issue you're addressing and yet it will be ring in your head like a big GONG-lightbulb moments occur! There's also book titles shared, websites etc.
Not only get to a meeting but go regularly! Al-anon, for many of us is our major platform. Lots of wisdom there...LOTS.
You've taken your first step. You're here!