Maude....I am so sorry.
Yes, go to Alanon, and or Celebrate Recovery. Get face to face support. I also recommend counseling for yourself. Alone.
I found myself just where you are now. Full of rage, hating to be in my own home. Angry! Through the fine folks here at CR, Celebrate Recovery, and counseling, I was able to get myself the help I needed to go forward, help control some of those emotions, and to realize that no matter what happened in the future my kids and I would be ok. I just had to get myself to be strong enough of a person to go through all of that.
Hugs to you.