M,
You my friend, sound very angry. You have every right to be angry, as this is what this disease has done to you. So she is getting help with her issues, you need to address your issues. Do you want to be the raging angry spouse of an alcoholic? I don't want you to get mad at me, but I think it is time for you to address your issues. You have had to be mom and dad for a long time.
I think it is time for you to take the time and address this "family" disease. Nothing will work out if she get sober, loving, great mom, if you don't start pulling away your layers of tough skin that you have had to grow, living with an addict.
Give yourself the love you need, starting from you. Take some breathing time to realize the nightmare you have been living. Own it and work on trying to be the best dad, best person, and maybe the best husband you can be. I am sorry, but time does heal wounds if you take the time and work on yourself.
Sending big hugs my friend. Put on your oxygen mask first and then help others.