Live, yes I'll PM you my address.
Trish...There have been some weird stuff earlier...not violent or emotional abuse per se..as I look back it was probably emotional abuse...but not purposely...but this really crazy erratic behaviour of his has been the past few months, yes.
Bascially he has always been a very patient man, very even, emotionally tough....he had no emotions really when I got with him..he has thanked me a few times for helping him feel, to have emotions....but I think he lived so long having to keep his emotions at bay that he doesn't cope well with feelings.
I still believe he is a good man...but he needs help...help that I cannot give him. Power is an addiction too. Just as deadly as any other IMO.
In the past year his mother has died, the year before that his grandparents the two adults who ever truly love dhim died....this year we are in tax trouble, IRS, real estate, school tax, personal tax, you name it we are in deep with it..his last job didn't take out taxes and it has really hurt us. His health isn't good......he lives in alot of pain...........I just don't know how to help him anymore.....I will always love him.....I know he isn't acting himself........but I cannnot help someone that loses it with knives and such. Couple months ago the first time ever he raised his fist to me......I told him he didn't want to go there. I have to watch myself because I have a natural instict to get right back in someones face and tell em where to go .....I have never been the type to take threats or violence against me. When you love someone it makes it hard.
I have thought about getting marriage counselling..but don't know how well that would go over.....will have to see. All I know is I have to get my DL's and drive, get a job and be able to support the kids and I, maybe things can be worked out..I don't know..he may go over the road soon seeing as his current job is seasonal. It wasn't this bad when he was gone all week and only home weekends.....