graceseeker

((Michelle))

I TOTALLY know what it is like to be trying to come off of oxy, while my hubby keeps them locked up in a safe. Only, I WAS THE ONE who asked him to so it!

I also know that it is HORRIBLE to try to function in a household going through W/D (I have a 10-yr-old who has been very defiant and argumentative lately)-

I know that it doesn't sound right to anyone that he doesn't want you in treatment- and it may not BE right. But if he is willing to take a month off from work to help you through this.... Oh Lord as my witness- I would be sooo grateful if my husband would/could take that kind of time off from work to help me.

I started taking percocet when I got diagnosed with a really awful degenerative muscle disease after I had my son. That was ten years ago. Over the years, I told Hubby about my fears that I was getting addicted- but he didn't seem to care very much... When I asked him to dose me, and hide my meds, he agreed- but would hide them in really easy places, for instace. One time, I had been off the stuff for a month or more& we had a terrible flood in the house that put me under a lot of pressure... When I opened the top drawer of the dresser at the hotel we had to stay in- there they were. It was just too easy. Not his "fault," but I broke under the pressure of the disease (for which I was having to go to the hospital all the time and get long infusions of IVIG and chemo), the fear, the flood- and a feeling of neglect... I went alone to the hospital for IV's, took our son to church, etc because he was going to school and said he needed to study 5-6 hours per day WHILE working full time... Anyway, I said, "look around! your wife is sick, you are out of your home, you've gotten all A's, the job is secure- " I felt the only thing he neglected was his family... He finally agreed to spend less time studying..

At that time, it was only percocet- and not every day. Now, after surgeries, fractured bones from chemo+steroids and the pain of lupus- I am probably taking more than you ever did!

My PC just looked at the X-rays & other stuff and handed me the Rx's over the years... I would tell her too, that I was addicted, but didn't know how to get off. Becasue the fact is that I started taking those pills more for the fear of the illness than the illness... Now, after things have gotten worse- I feel like I need something in the mornings at times- but I don't even know because I've been so over-medicated for years...

Some people are in the position of having a bad disease (like RA or lupus-even cancer), and they do have bouts of real pain- but others like me do not always have a lot of pain- so then they can still get addicted, and need to be monitored some...but that's another story...

If you absolutely can't get to a "center" right now- all is NOT lost! If your husband is making you do the housework and cooking,though,- that is not good- is that part of what he needs you there for? I still have to get meals ready for my family most of the time and other stuff -pretty much no matter what is going on...That was the case so long as my husband was well- and then almost 3 years ago he got cancer- and they had to take out his stomach! So now, I really don't feel like I can go away someplace! Though maybe I should anyway. I aksed the doc, but he said that we sould try doing it with his help first.

I just made my request for doc-supervised tapering yesterday with my PC, though I tapered some before, and we talked about it- it is now official, & I have asked for my hubby's understanding (btw, he works, and has been "cancer-free"-we hope-for these past three years). I's hard, because I now feel like I have become his caretaker-since the cancer- but can't do my job these past three years, unless I'm taking a "comfortable" amount of oxy.. An amount which is staggering. Over the past few days I've been taking about1/6 less, and boy, do I feel it. In about a week I'm supposed to go down again.

I will try to remember to pray for you as I go through this - if you pray, could you pray for me too?

A treatment center would last only so long- and then you would need to go home to him anyway... Do you think that explaining that might help? W/d usually takes several weeks - in some people a lot longer. Sounds like you will really be needing him... Maybe he would be better about it, if he knew it was for the first, medically-senitive part of recovery? On the other hand, if your spouse is really good about following the instructions from your PC, and also has some real common sense- he might actually do you just as much good as a nurse or doc... I've had docs/nurses really foul up about my meds. One of them told me to just "cold turkey" off of valium! I was fortunate that I had already been told that can be deadly... I have also been in hospital settings, where staff decided to go against doc's orders and not give me all the meds I needed (when I was going through chemo). At least your husband knows you- and your case- and it sounds like he truly loves you! I sure pray you get whatever you need...your husband too.

Lots of caring,
GS