Anyone else is experiencing "grossed out by XAH" stage of grief?
Because I am there! Probably unhealthy as heck - but here it goes. After overdosing on XAH appearances over holidays, I realized that now when I see him I pity him and I am slightly grossed out. He is just an oily sleazy aging dude....
He got on Facebook and I got off Facebook that very moment because his picture was a one on a webcam in a dark room and it looked like something you will see on Craigslist.
My family was over for the holidays and he was all super friendly with them (and they were with him) and he was having a good ole time. When I took them to the airport - he called me several times and sounded like he was tearing up because he will miss MY family so much. All about him.
Then my best friend who works at the same place he does texted me and said that she saw him and he looked well. And again - I had this wave of slight disgust and pity come over me.... He always liked this friend and I can just picture him being all flirty, charming, and oily, making comments on her looks. I now realize that I hate anyone commenting on my appearance because of him. Yikes.
Maybe he means well. But every time he Skypes me my heart drops and I really, really do not want to pick up. I feel like he is too "close" to my family and I wish they were less warm with him - but I cannot make them - and I feel like he deserves a chance to keep a relationship with them. Although if my BIL did anything remotely close to my sister I would kick his rear and would not even talk to him. Why should I?
He is a father of my child and I want to respect him, but have been having a hard time - although he has been paying child
support on time and helping out with expenses and clothes for DS beyond that.
Just wanted to vent and see if anyone experienced anything like that. I don't hate him and I wish him well - but I feel creeped out by him.