*hugs*
I use to live like that.. and not only was it painful, but if was SO unhealthy for my daughter. I do understand how you feel and that feeling of being stuck.
Unfortunally the same thing holds true for you that holds true for your husband.... No one will get help till they hit "their bottom" ... Its a hard life to live and it only gets worse. As his disease progresses so will yours and the crazier life will become. There is no sugar coating it....
Often what works for me is figuring out what I want. What is the end result of what I want (without trying to control another) just for you... then work backwards. Instead of starting with the problem, start with the soultion and work backwards. Alot of Alanon meetings have babysitting, or maybe switch babysitting with a neighbor... just things like that might help.