You're very welcome carlsson, that's why we are here, to help one another. Yep go and check out a meeting, I have to tell you though, one won't work, you have to keep going, trust me on that, I went to a couple a few years ago, thought I was cured because I stopped for two months....oh yeah showed what I know. We have a disease, that's your choice to call it that or not....or labeling yourself as an alcoholic..some have a problem with it, but that doesn't matter, bottom line is you know you have a problem, and it's a HUGE one, but it can be fixed and with help that's waiting for you. You walk through those doors and I would bet someone is waiting for you.
Yep pretty sad stuff isn't it..maybe that's the first time that young man drove after drinking, most say they will never do it....but in a black out, you have no clue as to anything going on around you. Gonna tell you what happened to me this past January...in a black out I fell into a woodstove, 2nd degree burns, which I'm still healing from, 7 months ago.....thanking God I didn't hurt anyone but myself.....now that I think of it, I've hurt my children, can't imagine what they must think knowing this happened because I drank. Anyway I was lucky it could have been worse, it was another lesson for me to stop.
About your Higher Power, I believe in Him, I always have since I was a kid, today I know I wasn't letting myself get close to Him.....ok gonna tell you this too, and no I'm not off my rocker, haha, at least I don't think I am.
A couple weeks before I got burnt I was outside early morning with my little dog, sorry I tend to ramble on a lot telling a story, anyway it dark and real cold out, the stars were shining, looked real pretty when it's like that in the winter, the snow looks like diamonds sparkling....I looked up to the sky and talked to my Higher Power again, and asked Him why He never listens to me, mentioned I've talked to Him forever....ok here comes the weird part, not weird for me, but anyone reading this might think it is, cause some don't believe.....anyway I felt something no sooner after I talked to Him, I felt a jolt or something in my head, my whole body, He let me know He's here for me....yep He did, I was stunned for a couple minutes thinking I had imagined it.....I know I didn't, it was real, I wish it would happen again, it was the most peaceful feeling just a moment in time, but REAL. Needless to say I still didn't listen, and a couple weeks later I got hurt, I think He gave me an extra push trying to help me....today I'm finally sober....it's taken me a lot of years and a lot of pain getting here....Please do what you have to do to get well.....I know you can do it.
Check out the Alcoholism boards here...lots of guys will help you out...start a thread there...lots of amazing people here, lots with years of sobriety and are waiting to show you the way to a better happier life.
