View Single Post
Old 01-12-2017, 08:43 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Gm0824
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 224
Prayers for you through the court process. Basically what you are requesting is what I received in my final decree. I typed about 4-5 pages worth of documented "note-worthy" drug/alcohol related events that had occurred from the previous two years to date. I only say note-worthy because I did not type everything that would happen on a daily basis but the big blow ups. I had to read these things to the judge. A parent testified briefly on my behalf regarding the children and lack of my ExAH's involvement in all matters relating to them. I also requested drug/alcohol testing, anger management course, and a parenting class (which my ExAH never showed for), a drug/alcohol evaluation to be performed by a professional (which was excellent). Soberlink, the judge ultimately decided against since the visitations wound up being supervised. Initially, for the temporary orders, the judge did grant unsupervised visitations but with random drug/alcohol testing and if he failed to comply the visitations would revert to supervised until our next court date (which is what happened) and how I was able to achieve supervised visitation in the final decree.

Big hugs. I was so nervous the first time I attended court, just know that it does get easier. I tried to stick to the facts, and remain as unemotional as possible (I still choked up when I was asked about the children). Don't get angry at his attorney (if he has one). Even if you don't get everything you are wanting at the first hearing, it is far from the final decree. I tried to look at it as a positive and the end result was the court was giving him the rope, it was up to him what he did with it. Not something I could control.

I also noted to the court that I had been attending Al Anon regularly since leaving.

I was a completely different person at the final decree than when I showed up for the first temporary orders. I went no-contact with ExAH before filing and that has also been a God send for my sanity. A family member is designated in the decree as the facilitator for the supervised visitations and Our Family Wizard is in place for any other issues. I was also able to obtain a permanent injunction against him trying to use other means to contact me in the final decree.

I don't know if any of that helps you, just my ESH. Stay strong!
Gm0824 is offline