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AlcoholicJak,

I pains me to admit it, but Dee is 100% correct. By the time I started reading up on alcoholism, I had already reached too much, but I didn't think so at the time. I convinced myself that I could still get away with it for a little bit longer, and this turned into over a decade longer.

I believe you already know perfectly well that you're drinking too much, that drinking is causing you big problems, and that you're afraid those problems could get much worse. They did for me, simply because I didn't pay attention to my creeping apprehension that something was not quite right.

I will simply encourage you to pay attention to that nagging feeling that something is not quite right when it comes to your use of alcohol.

Contrary to what you may read here or elsewhere, most people quit drinking entirely on their own, given sufficient motivation (lots of pain and suffering), and sufficient trial and error. Many others die the hard way before that motivation, often called a 'bottom', ever arrives, or before learning from trial and error.

If you really want to quit on your own, without a formal program, I would encourage you to look into Rational Recovery and AVRT. There is more information in the secular connections forum.

AVRT won't provide the motivation to quit, but it is based on the common experience of thousands of people who quit on their own, which was distilled into a teachable technique by someone who also quit on his own. It is not necessary to quit an addiction, but it can save you a lot of trial and error.