Work; I've been at my place for 10 years through some really hard times, and we are like a small band of battle weary soldiers fighting on through adversity and leaning on each other, helping each other through the work **** and the home **** which leaks into the workplace coz sometimes u just can't keep it out. ... BUT we bond through drinking... they all talk about when, how much, how bad they felt after etc... we shared a love of beer, of pubs, of outrageous behaviour...... they never seem to have a dark side or a problem, I am the only one who has ever tried to quit.... they know about the one time I did and were mystified.
So my turbulent thoughts are will I loose that bond with them.... it felt like a link to closeness with them, I'm just being honest as that's how it feels...it feels like I'm leaving them! I can't work elsewhere or move rooms , they aren't leaving anytime soon... so this readjustment makes me feel uncomfortable and unsure... I will miss that with them, even though we only went out a few times a year, we colluded and laughed so much!
Work is so much of my time, effort and energy... they keep me alive there and I have got to figure out how to be sober and still keep them close?!?!?.
My best friend at work is just setting up a micro brewery on the side and growing her own organic hops... beer everywhere!!!! She's so excited. ... urgh. ...
I must think this one out and keep at it so I don't just give in. This time I don't want to give in......sorry for the long post but needed to talk.it through with u guys! Not keeping it in this time, got to say it so its real and I gain strength not loose it!
Cheers x