I do not drink or have alcohol when in the presence of someone that is in recovery, is trying, or should be. It isn't that important to me and it sucks the fun out of it for me anyway. I did drink a lot with my ex up until the last year or so. I don't drink around him anymore although we are very rarely around each other.
I've never had to decide if I would drink while out and came home to someone that couldn't or shouldn't. I probably would unless someone that was in *real* recovery asked me not to.
You are an adult and can choose to do whatever you want. You are not responsible for his drinking or choices no matter what you choose to do. He and he alone is responsible for his choices and behavior.
It really sounds like excuse making and deflection to me and that makes a difference on how I would react. I'll also say that I live alone so any choice I make is for an event, not my daily life. That also makes it different. I had a dry Thanksgiving. I would have ordinarily drank something but I could not have cared less if I had drinks so it was easy to let it go for another day.