man that's a sticky wicket.....
on the one hand, you have begged and implored HIM to stop drinking. meaning FOR GOOD. permanent sobriety. no more, not a drop ever.
but he hasn't exactly been DOING that.
from my own EH&S, which is different as we were both addicts.....once i made the decision to QUIT smoking crack forever, i hoped hank would "join" me - but he wasn't there yet. he wasn't ready. but for me to say, well ok then, let's make the call and let it happen would have been completely hypocritical on MY part, as i had made an Out Loud proclamation of my intent.
there was one time.....after one of his infamous birthday bashes here at the house - his excuse to act like an idiot, oops i mean narcissistic teenager - where i would recuse myself to the bedroom and not engage - somehow our damn DEALER was invited and there was a bunch of coke. the next morning, eveyrone gone, hank was in pretty rough shape, and pulled out a small baggie of powder. he looked at me with really sad eyes and said, can you help me make this go away?
he didn't mean THROW it away, he meant carve up a couple lines and do it. i knew that the small amount of dope wouldn't send me into a spiral - i'd spent the night absolutely raging, altho silently against the whole PARTY thing. so i agreed, we each did one line and it was gone.
and since that time he hasn't even tried to find/get/do anymore. it wasn't his BOTTOM, it was just the end of the road. he was ready to be done. he sat there, alone, after the "bash" was over and everyone had gone to their own homes, and all he could think about was a tiny bit of drug leftover. and he knew he didn't want that crap to rule over him anymore. a mere 20+ years later.............
i don't know if that helps or just confuses things. best i got.....