I dealt with my own shame and remorse by accepting that I had done some pretty reprehensible things. I accepted the past events. Yep, that happened. All of it. And I made peace within myself by vowing, along with never drinking again, to never again act in that way. I gave myself a fresh start. I conflated my sobriety vow with my forgiveness, which strengthened it in a very important way. Never again would I be a person who acted in that way because I will never again drink.
Give yourself permission to move forward, BrendaC, or you will get stuck. And you do that by forgiving yourself. You can be the person you really are, the authentic you. Don't let your past mistakes mess your future.
This is what we do for others whom we love. We accept, we forgive, we allow them to live in this moment while doing their best. Now do it for you.