Originally Posted by
BrendaChenowyth 
So in the first three months of my sobriety I was all about taking personal accountability, owning my past mistakes, learning lessons, resolving to make better decisions going forward...
At some point, taking responsibility turned to taking blame, and blame turned to shame, and shame turned to self-loathing... You know what happens next.
How do I get back to that place of having peace with everything? How do you keep from blaming yourself for all the hurt you caused while drinking?
I never wanted to cop out and say "I couldn't help it! My addiction made me do it!" because I believe that I had the ability to make my own choices and that I chose to do the wrong thing over and over and over. But I am starting to wonder if that is really true at all...
Brenda, I think you should cut yourself a lot of slack. You had a disease, no different than cancer. If you would not do something now, not drinking, that you did when you were in the heart of the disease, then I don't think you should blame yourself. It was the disease acting, not you. And you got better as soon as you could. I don't care if that was after 2 years or 25 years, it was still as soon as you were able to get better. Use your energy instead to remain sober, not to kick yourself when you've already had to battle something so difficult in life. It's just not fair to yourself.