I like your original Post I can relate.
But I dunno i went roudn and round with the whole I'm a POS i did these things then shame and guilt and depression. I suppose prior to me quiting it was just like depression and such and not a lot of thoguth about it. after i got sober I was my own worst enemy.
I like you tried to figure it out. I had so many flaws that i felt like the worlds biggest piece of crap. and honestly had I posted here I'm sure plenty would have gladly highlighted my shortcomings for me all over again and when i did post here many did.
I suppose its needed to see my flaws and recognized them and try to fix myself. but honestly in early sobrietyer there was just so much of it. heck there probably still is.
I guess I started to develop this attitude i'm yep I"m nothign I'm a Piece of crap i'm the lowest of the low etc.. but in a humble way.
I suppose from a place of humility i'm able to avoid the shame blame and depression game. But if I combine this approach with the old cut your losses approach it seems to help.
So for example I can go round and round and round about my flaws my regrets my shortcomings i can blame myself beat myself up etc.. or ic an cut my losses and go ::shrug:: thats just how it is time to move forward now I guess.
When others point out my shortcomings and such if its something new i should address I migth take a look if its osmething i've already shrugged off and is in the past I try to just leave it there and move on now instead of pulling it back out to rehash it again in that bad cycle.
I hope this make sense.
breaking the cycle was key for me. For a while there in early sobriety the bad cycle was very much still there I had only just removed the drink part i had not actually unravvled the rest of the mess of it yet.