changes all around
I avoided this place, not because things got worse with my abf, but because dad didn't make it. He fought so so hard. I've found that I have a terrible time believing it and especially saying it. Last time I was here, I was feeling like things were coming to a close with abf. To be perfectly honest right now, I don't know what's gonna happen. I just know I'm trying to drag myself through this (major Daddy's girl!), and in the meantime it's kind of just clicked into place for me. I'm not trying to control what he does and doesn't do. I'm not overly wrapped up in his every move. I dont have yhe energu or strength to deal witb losing fad and abf's s***! That's not to say I suddenly got it right! I've got a long ways to go, but I have realized what a waste of time it is engaging in the madness. Since I backed off, he got really quiet and somewhat withdrawn. By the time I realized it he came to me to talk. He said he couldn't handle living this way. He said when I didn't try to fight with him and whatnot that he didn't think I cared and he figured he was the only one left who was going to care for him. I kinda shrugged it off thinking it was bs despite the fact that he seemed sincere. Anyhow, he asked me to take him into town in 3 days for a dr appointment (only have 1 car). So he has started back to counseling and going to meetings. I hope this is the time it sticks, but I also hope I figure things out too.