Not much advice to offer here as I struggle with forgiveness at times.
Just remember forgiveness is mostly benefiting yourself. At times when I am overwhelmed with single parenting demands, bills, work, I feel mad at XAH who lives rent free at his brothers, does not have any childcare demands, and works very flexible schedule. What helps me is to think that I would not want to trade places with him. Right now I am in a stage where he does not stir much emotion in me - I no longer feel all broken up about what he has done, I try to not think of him, stay busy. I don't think I will ever have any warm feelings towards him - right now it feels like he is a stranger. I less contact I have with him the better I do.
Hang in there - and there is no forgiveness timeframe.
