It feels very, very difficult to walk away. Once I got to the other side, I can look back and see that the obstacles I saw were mostly my own making. It didn't have to take so long, or be so hard....we are our own worst enemy there.
You don't have to say a word. You just up and go.
If you are anything like me, he's heard a hundred versions of
"I can't live with your drinking. You are mean when you drink. Your drinking will be the end of us. I don't like spending time with you when you drink. Please stay away when you drink. I don't want to be with someone who wants to be drunk all the time." Then those shifted me me just hiding away, sucking into tv, my book, my phone, or leaving the house. I promise you, he has had notice that you don't want to be with someone that drinks like he does.
That doesn't matter to them though - they WANT to drink, and that's what they do. What do YOU want your life to look like without factoring him into making it good for you?
I always thought - "hes perfect if it weren't for his drinking. That's the only problem and if he fixed that, we'd be the best couple ever."
1 year out from leaving, I can tell you that my biggest misdeed in the partnership was lying to myself about that. Write a list of your ideal partner - the core values you want, and have. See if he matches up - drinking aside.
I wake up happy, grateful and looking forward to my future every day now.....rather than groggy from not getting enough sleep because of a flailing smelly drunk person next to me. There's a spring in my step in the morning rather than walking on eggshells to avoid a hung over rage. My future has unlimited possibilities rather than banking everything I have on someone elses ability to get healthy. <3 Best to you -