enfinthechange, I was just doing what my nature wanted me to do when I was drinking.
Maybe is it the same for you? I'd like to give you an advice but I don't know much since I've stopped just a few days ago (day 28 today)
I’m going to AA meetings since a week and it helps me a lot.
I know I won’t drink when I’m in there, I feel 100% safe.
Maybe it could help you.
Good luck - big koala hug.