Broken- welcome. Your narrative tell sa lot. If you read it back it may surprise you. Your ex drank, emotionally abused you, was a poor role model and then moved another woman into your home. What is in the past needs to stay there. You need to look forward for your life and those of your children. It is beyond my ken to offer advice on this complex narrative. I would suggest you think about talking to someone- a therapist, whoever to help sort out your emotions.
Stay safe. My prayers to you and your children and for your ex. Keep posting and reading. PJ