Thanks muchly for your support Dee - it means a great deal. Looking back over my years in SR - I recall how much people like yourself, and Robby (especially RR), would pound into me: 'you're worth it'. I believe that part has finally stuck....I guess it's what's given me the impetus to do the hard stuff, e.g. go to rehab, and anything else that seemed utterly impossible at the time for returning to sobriety. It took a very long time to even begin to internalise that simple statement.
After a lifetime of firstly, not even knowing of such things (it wasn't as prevalent, really, until a couple of decades ago), and compounded by all the stuff of Just Life....it can take a while for this old dog to learn new tricks. More importantly: to actually 'keepa go' with the new tricks.
(Not) 'keepa going' has cropped up (unsurprisingly) for me with this new psych therapy. It's a thing about achievement. Not just a one-off, even if that one-off takes years (e.g. a PhD or other higher qualification, a long term marriage / partnership, a long term job, parenting - not just when the kids are growing, and sure as hell: complete sobriety. For good. In that regard, I seem to have 'achieved' some things, but not many over the very long haul.
Anyway...enough of that. Currently just trying to 'keepa go' under temps of 29C in the house, more or less equalised to outside ....have the ceiling vents on for a sort of icky warm breeze effect and opened up the entire house. Wearing a damp top just out of the washing machine to help. But it's Hot. Damned Hot! (RIP Williams: Good Morning Vietnam!) A bit of rain starting.....the thunderstorms (I wish!) and wild winds on the way.
Phew.