Welcome to SR Elove and Ophelia. I found myself in the same place as both of you a year ago. I had been struggling to stop drinking for s few years, and I kept alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderating.
I woke up just about every morning feeling fuzzy headed, and thought I'm not drinking tonight, only to find myself opening a bottle of wine as soon as I walked in the door from work. I would have a glass of wine as I cooked dinner, and helped kids with homework, and would continue drinking throughout the evening. I stopped exercising, and was not nearly as present with my kids, husband, or job as I should have been.
I finally reached a point last NYE when I was done. I woke up on January 1st and started one day at a time. SR was my biggest support, especially the January monthly class, and the 24 hour recovery thread. I read lots on here, and several great recovery books. I stated learning more about mindfulness. The first few weeks I planned out every moment of the time when I would normally have wine, gradually it got easier.
Since quitting I have lost weight, have more energy, and even when I have bad days, handling them sober is so much better.
I'm glad you are both here, you can do this!!