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Day 2...again

Old 12-28-2016, 02:16 PM
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Day 2...again

Hello,

I am new to SR ; although, I have look on the forums before having the nerve to join.
I am 38 years old. I am a wife and mother of two great kids. I am an alcoholic. Most people do not know I have a problem. I had become good at hiding any drinking other than social gatherings or wine at home in the evening.
I am just sick of feeling horrible all the time...physically and emotionally. The guilt and feeling like a constant liar is killing me. I never feel like cleaning or spending quality time with my kids when I am hungover. I'm sure people wonder why I seem different or have gained weight over the years. I don't know.
I have tried meetings in the past. I may go back. Yesterday was a long day. Today was a bit better. I just feel tired.
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Old 12-28-2016, 02:34 PM
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I am 39 mother of three going through the same feelings second whole day sober. Hardly anyone knows I have s problem only two ex boyfriends and I tried aa and didn't like being in groups of strangers so feels like there's not many other options apart from willpower and self education
Originally Posted by Ellove78 View Post
Hello,

I am new to SR ; although, I have look on the forums before having the nerve to join.
I am 38 years old. I am a wife and mother of two great kids. I am an alcoholic. Most people do not know I have a problem. I had become good at hiding any drinking other than social gatherings or wine at home in the evening.
I am just sick of feeling horrible all the time...physically and emotionally. The guilt and feeling like a constant liar is killing me. I never feel like cleaning or spending quality time with my kids when I am hungover. I'm sure people wonder why I seem different or have gained weight over the years. I don't know.
I have tried meetings in the past. I may go back. Yesterday was a long day. Today was a bit better. I just feel tired.
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Old 12-28-2016, 02:46 PM
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Elf and Oph- hello and welcome. The sense of trying to get better/sober, nothing works is a common one. I know. I had a sense of futility- that it did not matter. All I can write is for me- stuff did get better. Making an effort was hard- very hard. You both have family- and an awareness of alcohol being a problem. Do something about it- 'what have you got to lose?', well everything. I lost everything but still persist.
AA meetings are like any support network- they have good stuff and things some will not find so useful. There is SMART, therapists, SR. A part of the alcoholic parody is isolating. There is support- lots of info at SR. Dee has put out very useful stuff about having a plan, Take some time to read around the threads. There is a ladies only thread as well. Well done on posting. Keep sharing and reading. My support and prayers to you both (and your families). PJ
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Old 12-28-2016, 03:21 PM
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Welcome to SR Elove and Ophelia. I found myself in the same place as both of you a year ago. I had been struggling to stop drinking for s few years, and I kept alternating between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderating.

I woke up just about every morning feeling fuzzy headed, and thought I'm not drinking tonight, only to find myself opening a bottle of wine as soon as I walked in the door from work. I would have a glass of wine as I cooked dinner, and helped kids with homework, and would continue drinking throughout the evening. I stopped exercising, and was not nearly as present with my kids, husband, or job as I should have been.

I finally reached a point last NYE when I was done. I woke up on January 1st and started one day at a time. SR was my biggest support, especially the January monthly class, and the 24 hour recovery thread. I read lots on here, and several great recovery books. I stated learning more about mindfulness. The first few weeks I planned out every moment of the time when I would normally have wine, gradually it got easier.

Since quitting I have lost weight, have more energy, and even when I have bad days, handling them sober is so much better.

I'm glad you are both here, you can do this!!
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:03 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Ellove!!
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:16 PM
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Welcome Ellove and I'm glad you decided to post. I also hid my drinking and never drank in public, only at home alone. It truly wears you down. It's a good idea to have a plan for how you will stop drinking. If you take a look around here, you will find lots of ideas and thoughts on recovery.
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:27 PM
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Thanks for your input everyone!!! I have not ruled out AA and I am seeing a therapist next week.
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Old 12-28-2016, 04:48 PM
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Welcome Ellove and Ophelia! I really do think reading the posts here and contributing as well can be beneficial to your recovery as well as a wealth of information.
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Old 12-28-2016, 06:54 PM
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Welcome to the family. I know the support here can help you get sober for good. It's certainly helped me.
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Old 12-28-2016, 07:05 PM
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Purchase the book "Under the Influence " on line .......and come here everyday. I am also a mother of two girls in their early twenties now but, they are both very happy I stopped drinking I've told them about this forum and how it has helped me.
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Old 12-28-2016, 10:37 PM
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Welcome Ellove
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