I wasn't THAT bad was I?
Surely I can have another drink now I'm recovered. I'll just have a couple and then stop. I'll keep it to once a week or special occasions. If I overdo it I'll just stop again. Easy.
My AV has been acting up real bad over the past couple of days. A combination of holidays, a bit of time on my hands and seeing everyone endlessly drinking makes me wonder what I'm missing out on.
The thing is, I know I've drained every last drop of joy from the drinking cup. There's none left to be had. I've used up every ounce of fun from drink. I'm not going to find any happiness there. Not even for a few hours.
I'll go back to the well and it will be dry of fun. Only the misery bit is left for me.
My AV romanticises a single malt. Sitting by the fire. All toasty and warm.
But the only thing single about it was the malt. I never had a single drink of whatever it was I was drinking. Am I really never going to drink again for the rest of my life? At the back of my mind I always had "some day" but now I've gone through Xmas sober it's looking like never.
It seems like I'm reaffirming my sobriety. I don't want to go back to my old life that's for sure. It feels like a landmark moment in time.
Have a great day everyone!