In the self-reflection, and realizing I will likely never find the "answers" I seek regarding my problem, I've gone back to resources of which I was aware but did not use. Or did not use enough. One that I hadn't looked at was posted by someone in 24 hours (maybe). Always a good reminder that science says drinking is generally not good for you:
https://www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/