Hugs HH! You can do this, but don't forget to REALLY take care of yourself. I can relate. My husband was my best friend until four years ago when his mom died. Since then he has had moments of being a monster, moments of acting like a child, moments of being self sedated, but rare moments of being present for our relationship and our family. Just drunk. All. The. Time. I used to fear divorce and living without my best friend. Then I feared divorce for my child, because my husband is - when not drunk - an amazing father that other families admire.
But after some point this coming year, I won't have to endure another drunken holiday, another drunken appearance at my son's school, name calling, blame, rushing home from work to save my son from a tirade. AND. I'll probably have more cash flow, even if I have to pay him support. I'll have relaxing vacations and work from home when I want to. And I'll be able to have even more open, honest discussions with my son about what his dad is going through. It will still be very sad for him, but his dad is disappearing anyway. He hasn't really been around in quite a long time.
Happy new year to YOU!