Thank you for your replies. Far2Go you had me in tears. I hope to get to where you are.
I've done a ton (years) of counseling and keep slipping back, it got worse lately with the loss of the contact with my wife and son, and there's nothing to keep me in the bounds. I do consulting work so am pretty much alone all day. I may talk one person all day, and I'm pretty social so that's harming me. Crazy lonely.
This isn't the way I want to live. Just don't know how to stop/start right now. Thank you to you guys for posting for me.