Hi Frankie and welcome to SR. I'm a similar age to you and have also had a couple of blackouts in my time. They are terrifying. I also am diagnosed with long term anxiety and depression. Alcohol can only ever make these conditions worse. It simply is not a combination that can work. That's why I know I need to abstain, for good.
Hang on in there, those first few days are really tough, but it does get easier.