And how are you different since all this, KTT? Where do you see those same kinds of changes in yourself? Are you more weary, surprisingly rested, carrying baggage under your own eyes or somewhere in between? Are you still feeling a bit of shock or getting more confident about your next steps? How are your DDs holding up as this proceeds?
I'm not-so-subtly trying to tell you to keep shifting the focus BACK TO YOU. It's not a habit yet so it's not going to just "happen"..... just one meeting with him shouldn't rock you so hard emotionally & the fact that it does is that lovely ingrained-codie side fighting it's way through because it seems loving & empathetic to CARE about what he's going through, right???
Sure, sometimes. And sometimes we need to remind ourselves that just 2 weeks ago you nearly had a heart attack waking up to the sight of him sleeping in your living room after he let himself into the house after you'd gone to bed. Or what he looked like just a few days before that when he couldn't lift himself off the living room floor & you all had to walk over him to handle your morning routines? Or what your DD's faces looked like when they confronted him about his drinking and laid down some of their own boundaries?
This is when you need to be stronger than EVER, my friend, trust me in this. Right now he is exactly where he needs to be and it is STILL catered to his 24/7 needs in a way; you couldn't have less control over any of it if you tried. Worrying about the changes in him - which will KEEP changing if he's really committed to recovery - is a gigantic waste of your time & energy. Huge. Crippling, Enormous.
It sucks that he chose this path, but HE did. Wishing you tons of strength in the coming days!!
