Do you work a program or have a plan, kinzoku? Do you have face-to-face support? Can you call a friend to take you to a meeting?
Please put the glass down and get rid of the liquor in your house. Please do whatever it takes so that this episode does not become disastrously permanent. Get back on that wagon; it's going to a good place.
If you don't work a Plan or have a program, below is a great thread to read:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst