You are all so right and bring so many amazing thoughts to tge table...so many things for me to shout out...YES..exactly ...things to think about....so grateful for all of you...it keeps me going...strenghthens what i KNOW i can do...how I WANT to be....had a good talk with MIL...she definitely understands what im going through and said she hates that i have to go through it..and agreed when i said i am jumping off...that my first priority is to stay sane and strong for my 3 sweet kiddos....