What it was like for me;
For many years, it was a series of lousy consequences - physical, emotional, legal financial. These I just took to be 'normal' and sort of 'unfortunate' instances of me getting caught or taking it a little too far.... no big deal.
For many years, it was a series of subtly-accelerating addictive behaviors. It was drugs and alcohol and partying and it was eventually interwoven with the workplace and with pretty much every aspect of my life.
At some point, after it was like DUIs and debts and collections and losses and divorces and all manner of things I could no longer ignore.
But even then it was like "maybe I just need to take a break, back off a bit, just moderate, everything in moderation after all - even moderation!".
And from there it was like; a plunge into daily drinking. Blackouts after blackouts. Vodka for breakfast. Attempts to quit or to moderate or to "JUST NOT DRINK TODAY, I SWEAR". These were failed attempts. It was despairing and shameful and scary.
And then it was like: "I really DO have a problem. I really DO need to change, I really CAN'T do this on my own.... I really WANT to stop this runaway train".
And then it was like; Going to AA, working steps, reading the Big Book, Journaling, Exercise, Counseling, Changing friends, changing interests, changing behaviors, coming here to Sober Recovery, doing all I could to embrace sobriety in my life.....
And at times it was challenging, but the whole way it was rewarding...
And it began lifting me....
And it began improving me....
And it was like life was getting lighter, happier, more beautiful, more abundant.
And it was like there was a lot more Joy than awfulness and it was like Gratitude and it was like FREEDOM.
And now a few years of sobriety down the track it is like a life I'd dreamed and envisioned but never got to because I was stuck in a haze of drugs and booze.
And now life is better than ever and only growing deeper and more beautiful.
And now I can't really understand how I managed to put off embracing sobriety for so long. I chuckle at myself. How naive. How silly. How wasteful all of that was.
But it's also like; Well, that was my path. And it brought me here. So even for that I am grateful.
It is like....... the best decision ever. It is like.... a blessed gift that keeps on giving.
It is like......... MAN, am I ever glad, grateful, joyous and FREE because I quit drinking and instead embraced LIFE.
It's like that.
