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What it's like to quit drinking by those who have done it or are trying



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What it's like to quit drinking by those who have done it or are trying

Old 12-12-2016, 02:46 AM
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What it's like to quit drinking by those who have done it or are trying

I've always noticed that the SR guest numbers compared to the SR registered user numbers is always a lot higher & apart from wanting to help guests primarily it shows every day that there are people out there struggling but genuinely seeking help, so with that in mind would you please share your experiences for any of the SR guests who are trying to stop drinking & what it was actually like for you

While I'm here I'd like to welcome all guests to sign up to SR & know your not alone

Here's an additional article to read through

https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...coholic-drinks
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Old 12-12-2016, 05:56 AM
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I fantasized/obsessed about quitting for years - even left my husband for a bit in 2015 because we drank together, so I blamed that dynamic.

He told me when Ieft that I would never be able to get sober by myself.

That pissed me off, and I finally had enough of the whole sick cycle, so on March 15 of 2016, I quit putting alcohol into my body.

It is a daily decision for me "today no matter what happens I will not drink" but now at nearly 9 months I don't have to say that in my head every morning and I am starting to move on to "I don't drink."

I am still with husband and son. Husband still drinks but not as much as he was - he appears to feel sheepish and will hide it (but I can smell it from across the room - ha).

It boils down to a very simple thing - not using your hand to pour the alcohol down your throat, no matter what. As Yoda says "do, or do not - there is no try."
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:15 AM
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Excellent article, SW. Thanks for posting it.

Anyone who is out there lurking, and considering quitting, Join us. We can help you find your way. There's so much wisdom and support here.
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Old 12-12-2016, 08:48 AM
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I had my first drink at age 13 and was hooked. I'm now 55 years old and I've had enough!!!!

I was a binge drinker in my teens, 20's, 30's, and 40's , mostly drinking on the weekend's. I would drink way more than any of my friends,once I took that first sip something inside me would want more,more,more!!!
It was never enough until I passed out. All through the years I had friends who would take care of me, take me home get me into bed. Im blessed to still be alive......I would do crazy things in my youth while drunk. Car accidents, taking off with strange men after the bar closed having one night stands . I can't count on both hands or recall who or how many men I slept with 🤔😕.
I've had two failed marriages and I'm on my third. The first two were alcoholics.
I have had my dry spells. During my two pregnancies and raising my girl's and going back to school but, that taste for alcohol never left me. In my forties I started a hospital job that was extremely stressful and that is when my daily drinking started
Coming home i would head straight for the package store for my wine go home and drink until I passed out and get up in the morning go to work go home and start the whole thing over again. In the beginning I was drinking a bottle of wine a night, then 1 1/2 bottles, then 2 bottles, until it reached 2 1/2 over last summer. This went on for 5 years until I was waking up and not feeling well. Some mornings my hands would shake, I had profuse sweating ( that I blamed on menopause), back aches, neck pain, knee pain ( blamed this on getting older),I had chronic diarrhea, hemorrhoids, stomach ulcers,my balance was off and I was falling and hurting myself even when I wasn't drinking. I fell off a pool ladder and broke my rib, I fell into a bochi pit and had a contusion on my shin (these were when I was drunk) .
My "AHA" moment came when I went to the salon to have my hair done and I was starring into the mirror and I didn't recognize myself . I was bloated, my face was red i was sweating I looked 6 months pregnant! I thought what the **** am I doing to myself. THIS IS INSANITY .
That was November 3rd this year I QUIT.
I never really slowed down to take a good look at what I was doing to myself.
I hope this is helpful to some of you out there seeking help. SR has been an eye opener for me.
I am an alcoholic when im drinking and when I m not. There is no such thing as I'll have just one drink or I'll drink just on the weekend. Your only fooling yourself and it's the AV (addicted voice) trying real hard to get you to drink again.
Today is day 39 for me .
I feel : FREE no more anxiety about which package store i should go to today (no not that one i went there 2 days ago).
I feel: NORMAL ,relaxed I sleep better. This may sound strange but, demons would visit me in my dreams and they are gone. I am at peace now.
Thank you soberwolf for this thread i think it will help someone it helped me to write it .
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Old 12-12-2016, 08:59 AM
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what was it like? in all honesty, getting sober was the hardest thing I ever did in my life- harder than a 3 1/2 year battle with cancer, and I did that sober.
quite a few days I had to seriously fight the compulsion and obsession to drink.
but that fight got easier.

staying sober has been relatively easy and worth every second of fight I had to put in
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Old 12-12-2016, 09:02 AM
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For me, I woke up one morning (24 days ago) and my desire to quit was finally more than my desire to use. The price I was paying was finally to high. I swallowed my pride, I asked for help, I told my husband about my hidden addiction, I told my family, I got a doctor for help, and I started spending as much time as possible on SR asking for support and guidance from people going through or having gone through the same things. 24 days later, I feel better than I have in years. I'm getting stronger every day. I am finally able to tell when the evil voice of addiction is trying to deceive me. Hallelujah!
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Old 12-12-2016, 09:14 AM
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190 days in. There are many different methods. SMART, AA, SR, mindfulness.
I am an avid member of AA, however, I had to incorporate a little of everything. SR is the tool I use the most. And prayer.

At first, every day was a struggle. Now, once in a while I have a challenge. If life is a bit off, I think of drinking. Because that was years of habit. Those days are less and less.

Life is better. Problems are solvable. I can be fixed. Sobriety is worth being uncomfortable for a minute.
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Old 12-12-2016, 09:22 AM
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What it was like for me;

For many years, it was a series of lousy consequences - physical, emotional, legal financial. These I just took to be 'normal' and sort of 'unfortunate' instances of me getting caught or taking it a little too far.... no big deal.

For many years, it was a series of subtly-accelerating addictive behaviors. It was drugs and alcohol and partying and it was eventually interwoven with the workplace and with pretty much every aspect of my life.

At some point, after it was like DUIs and debts and collections and losses and divorces and all manner of things I could no longer ignore.

But even then it was like "maybe I just need to take a break, back off a bit, just moderate, everything in moderation after all - even moderation!".

And from there it was like; a plunge into daily drinking. Blackouts after blackouts. Vodka for breakfast. Attempts to quit or to moderate or to "JUST NOT DRINK TODAY, I SWEAR". These were failed attempts. It was despairing and shameful and scary.

And then it was like: "I really DO have a problem. I really DO need to change, I really CAN'T do this on my own.... I really WANT to stop this runaway train".

And then it was like; Going to AA, working steps, reading the Big Book, Journaling, Exercise, Counseling, Changing friends, changing interests, changing behaviors, coming here to Sober Recovery, doing all I could to embrace sobriety in my life.....

And at times it was challenging, but the whole way it was rewarding...

And it began lifting me....

And it began improving me....

And it was like life was getting lighter, happier, more beautiful, more abundant.

And it was like there was a lot more Joy than awfulness and it was like Gratitude and it was like FREEDOM.

And now a few years of sobriety down the track it is like a life I'd dreamed and envisioned but never got to because I was stuck in a haze of drugs and booze.

And now life is better than ever and only growing deeper and more beautiful.

And now I can't really understand how I managed to put off embracing sobriety for so long. I chuckle at myself. How naive. How silly. How wasteful all of that was.

But it's also like; Well, that was my path. And it brought me here. So even for that I am grateful.

It is like....... the best decision ever. It is like.... a blessed gift that keeps on giving.

It is like......... MAN, am I ever glad, grateful, joyous and FREE because I quit drinking and instead embraced LIFE.

It's like that.

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Old 12-12-2016, 09:39 AM
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what was it like for me.
I realised I had a problem years ago and tried many different ways of cutting down - all disastrous.
I toyed with the idea of AA, but in a way the thought of AA kept me drinking.
Eventually found this place and lurked and lurked and lurked some more.
Kept drinking, kept using 4 or 5 places to buy alcohol to shift it around a bit, kept being ashamed when I took the bottles to the bottle bank.
Shame and fear of being found out - those were the main emotions of my drinking life.
Finally made a decision and joined here and not long after took the plunge.
The first few days were weird - not feeling sick, more not together, in a bot of a trance, no energy, weird sleep patterns, ate loads of crap those days.
About a week in, I was the most emotional mess around, bursting into tears, completely unable to complete basic tasks and keep things together.
And then it started to get better. I stopped worrying about the wine aisle, I did more exercise, had more time for me and slept better.
The cravings reduced (at the start, I'd see a bottle of wine and actually start salivating) and now only come now and again.
Listening to people here helped me to realise that I wasn't alone, that pretty much everyone here understood and that I actually needed to think things through and plan my days an my interactions with alcohol if I was to have a choice.
Life is much better and I feel much more alive now than I did 60 odd days ago.
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Old 12-12-2016, 10:01 AM
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What is it like? I would like to say its fantastic and most days it is, but some days its not easy. Gone is the desire to drink, but what I find the most difficult is dealing with my alcoholic mind. I have been drinking since I was about 13 and for 33 years since that time I have used alcohol to self medicate. Slowly unravelling that damage to my brain and the way I manage my feelings and in turn, my life, has been the most difficult aspect to my recovery. Since becoming sober it feels like I have been transported to my 13 year old body again. For what feels like the first time in my life, I am learning to manage my feelings in a healthy and constructive way. Having a lot of trauma as a child I just wanted to shut those feelings down and when I discovered alcohol as a teen I discovered an easy way to do that, and it worked.. for awhile.

It may sound daunting and some days it is but the reality is it is a gift and an opportunity for me to start again. I have faith that my higher power is with me on this journey. The path I was on was lonely, depressing and self defeating, it was cyclical and I didn’t see a way out. I blamed everyone and everything including the universe for my misery. I’ve learned in recovery and the steps (and still learning) that it was me, just me ( and the alcohol). I am now able to start looking at life through a different lens and I am for the first time holding myself accountable for the part I play in my life. I am no longer at the mercy of other people or situations in my life, I am in charge of my life (and I count on my higher power to be there with me as well). I used to be at the mercy of my feelings, feelings that would overtake me, to the point of despair. Now I am able to stand back and look at those feelings and realize they are just feelings, they are not going to kill me and they will pass. I am growing up. On the days I am struggling with my alcoholic mind I go to an AA meeting or I come here. For anybody out there struggling, there is a different path. I am grateful for my sobriety.

7 months sober.
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Old 12-12-2016, 10:58 AM
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Thank you for each post I was going to individually thank you all but know whoever posts I'm reading everyone & hopefully so are all our SR guests & deciding to create a account & join us

Thank you all for sharing your experiences I really appreciate it

Keep em coming
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Old 12-12-2016, 11:19 AM
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It was the battle of a lifetime. The hardest thing I have ever done, but also, the most worthwhile. Early on was so so hard. I walked away from my old life completely. I blocked contacts from my phone, I refused to contact my ex BF who I still missed and loved (because I knew I would relapse if I went back). I fantasized about alcohol 24/7, I was anxious, I couldn't sleep, I had lost everything and had to deal with it all without a drink in me. But I was at rock bottom...I just knew I was done. And I stuck to my decision not to allow myself to fall any farther. There were days when I went to bed at 3pm because I just couldn't deal with life anymore. And I gave myself permission to do that. I was done with the day....not able to handle anymore...and I put my head on the pillow sober (early, but sober). There were nights I paced my sober house frantically for hours and hours saying to myself "don't f---ing drink, don't drink, don't drink..."

I went to rehab, sober living, got a sponsor, worked (and still work) the steps. At 3 months sober I got a full time job. At 7 months sober I got an apartment. I ran everything by my sponsor. If she told me it was not a good idea...that was that...I didn't do it. If she gave me direction to do something I did not agree with...I just FREAKING DID IT and shut my mouth. I had learned all my lessons the hard way...doing what I wanted...that finally, when someone told me what to do...I just freaking DID IT.

The emotional pain and sadness were so great at times that I thought I might die from them. But I had a wonderful sponsor who was very caring and spent a LOT of time with me. I Remember one day she said to me "I've been where you are....you will get through this...your feelings will not kill you and in time they will pass. Your drinking and drugging will kill you...not your feelings." Another time she told me "You are swimming away from one life...and towards a new one...right now you are in the middle of the ocean and you are lost and afraid. As you should be. But I'm next to you...hold my hand and keep swimming, I won't let you drown, I promise."

18+ months later I have no cravings (though occasionally I miss the days when drinking was "fun" but then I laugh at myself because those days were a long time ago and at the end of my drinking and using it was pure UTTER HELL), I have a job in my career field, am tackling my debt, a relationship with God, belong to a church, have a car and a beautiful apartment, a strong sober network, good friends, decent relationships with my family, hobbies and interests. In October I went to Colorado for a week and hiked the rocky mountains!! A dream of mine I was NEVER able to fulfill when I was drinking.

Getting sober and achieving long term sobriety requires drastic measures on our part. You cannot stick your toe into recovery and expect to get well. I can't emphasize that enough. If you are willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety - you will achieve it.

It gets so much better. Just hang in there and don't pick up that first sucker drink or drug!
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Old 12-12-2016, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Bunny211 View Post
It was the battle of a lifetime. The hardest thing I have ever done, but also, the most worthwhile. Early on was so so hard. I walked away from my old life completely. I blocked contacts from my phone, I refused to contact my ex BF who I still missed and loved (because I knew I would relapse if I went back). I fantasized about alcohol 24/7, I was anxious, I couldn't sleep, I had lost everything and had to deal with it all without a drink in me. But I was at rock bottom...I just knew I was done. And I stuck to my decision not to allow myself to fall any farther. There were days when I went to bed at 3pm because I just couldn't deal with life anymore. And I gave myself permission to do that. I was done with the day....not able to handle anymore...and I put my head on the pillow sober (early, but sober). There were nights I paced my sober house frantically for hours and hours saying to myself "don't f---ing drink, don't drink, don't drink..."

I went to rehab, sober living, got a sponsor, worked (and still work) the steps. At 3 months sober I got a full time job. At 7 months sober I got an apartment. I ran everything by my sponsor. If she told me it was not a good idea...that was that...I didn't do it. If she gave me direction to do something I did not agree with...I just FREAKING DID IT and shut my mouth. I had learned all my lessons the hard way...doing what I wanted...that finally, when someone told me what to do...I just freaking DID IT.

The emotional pain and sadness were so great at times that I thought I might die from them. But I had a wonderful sponsor who was very caring and spent a LOT of time with me. I Remember one day she said to me "I've been where you are....you will get through this...your feelings will not kill you and in time they will pass. Your drinking and drugging will kill you...not your feelings." Another time she told me "You are swimming away from one life...and towards a new one...right now you are in the middle of the ocean and you are lost and afraid. As you should be. But I'm next to you...hold my hand and keep swimming, I won't let you drown, I promise."

18+ months later I have no cravings (though occasionally I miss the days when drinking was "fun" but then I laugh at myself because those days were a long time ago and at the end of my drinking and using it was pure UTTER HELL), I have a job in my career field, am tackling my debt, a relationship with God, belong to a church, have a car and a beautiful apartment, a strong sober network, good friends, decent relationships with my family, hobbies and interests. In October I went to Colorado for a week and hiked the rocky mountains!! A dream of mine I was NEVER able to fulfill when I was drinking.

Getting sober and achieving long term sobriety requires drastic measures on our part. You cannot stick your toe into recovery and expect to get well. I can't emphasize that enough. If you are willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety - you will achieve it.

It gets so much better. Just hang in there and don't pick up that first sucker drink or drug!
Bunny
good job excellent story congratulations on 18 months you must be so proud!
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Old 12-12-2016, 02:13 PM
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The last thing I ever thought I would do is quit drinking and start posting on a site like this. Learning from popular culture, I pictured sobriety as morose losers swapping sob stories in church basements. Then in February I was not enjoying drinking as much, also having some health problems, nothing dramatic just feeling unwell. I started thinking how much time, energy and money I was devoting to basically feel lousy 24/7, and the perversity of that got me started.

A 75 day sober streak ensued, all on my own. No grand design or anything, not really planning to quit forever. But I liked how good I started to feel. Then the Spurs got knocked out of the playoffs and I got drunk on a whim, gonna only be 1 night off. That turned into a month of despair and craziness where I was desperate to get back to feeling good again but couldn't seem to get there. Maddening. So I knew I had to do something different to get back this good thing, sobriety, I'd stumbled on earlier.

Joined SR. Saw people with years of sobriety, people who had the better life I wanted. They weren't loser schlubs, they were awesome. So I listened to what they said, spoke my piece when I had a mind to, logged onto this site every day to keep my head right, and now I have 6 months sober. Guests and new people, this isn't magic. Not drinking every day is a skill that's attainable to all, and that includes you. Give it a try and see.
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Old 12-12-2016, 02:48 PM
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My drinking career spans almost 50 years.
Took my first drink about 10 years of age.

At age 13. I was smoking weed drinking booze taking quaaludes, LSD and having
sex with a 13 year old girl who lost her virginity to her father. I got her pregnant
and I learned a new word, miscarriage.
She dumped me and needless to say, I was
devastated. I tried to get heroin but was
not able to, thank God because I would have died for sure.

Fast foreword 5 years. Managed to drink
and drug my way through high school.
Fell in love with a girl who liked to drink
and drug as much as me. Got a job working
construction for her father. He was a drunk also, we became good buddies
and good drinking buddies of course.

At age 20 got girlfriend pregnant, got
married bought a house and was introduced to meth.

Worked hard, partied hard and fought
with wife for 10 years.

Being a reckless daredevil, I fell from
a considerable height on the jobsite,
at age 30. Luckily didn't get killed but
landed in the hospital with 2 broken legs.

Got surgery and spent the next two weeks
in the hospital unable to walk but still
drinking as my brother smuggled booze
into me every day and my roommate got rid of the empty bottles. I was also hooked
up to an IV of morphine and could give
myself a hit every 10 minutes. YIPPEE!

So anyway this was the beginning of the end of the marriage because when I got
home from the hospital I had to learn to
walk again, didn't have much money and fought with wife even more.

Got divorced and raised 2 children myself
(had second chid to try and save marriage)

Age 40: Decide to quit drinking (quite
drugs and cigarettes after getting out of the hospital) .
Was dry for 15 months and started boozing again. Didn't know about
the concept of kindling and my drinking
escaltated over the next 18 years.
I went from a beer drinker to wine, scotch and vodka guzzler.

Started passing out and splitting my head open several times in my mid fifties. This
didnt stop me from drinking however.

Strangely enough I went to my family doctor for a routine check up and found out my white blood cell count was low and
liver enzymes were high. Went to specialist who wrote me a script for an
Ultrasound on my liver. Of course I put
this off for as long as possible.

Finally got it done and was diagnosed with
a fatty liver. This news came a great relief to me because I was faily sure that I had
Cirrhosis of the liver given my lifestyle through the years.

That was a little over a year ago. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since then. I had blood tests done six months ago and I am
in great health. God really does love me I suppose. Sorry for the rambling post and
for anyone out there reading this.

Quitting is not easy but it is possible
and well worth it for you and those who are near and dear to you.

Sincerly,

Jimmy 58.
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Old 12-12-2016, 03:12 PM
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Thank you all for sharing your experiences this will hopefully resonate with our broad range of guests who visit SR

Your post could be the reason someone signs up today & that would be awesome

Thank you all

SW
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:09 PM
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Getting sober has been surprisingly rewarding for me.

I had always drank wine socially, a glass or two with dinner. In my 40's, I started to drink more, a half-bottle most evenings. Then I noticed it was becoming 3/4 of a bottle, and once in awhile a whole bottle of wine. I don't go to many parties, but I went to a couple of work-related events where I drank more than I intended, and drove home drunk from one. I was also taking one or two pain pills most nights for chronic back pain (prescribed, but not meant to be mixed with wine!).

It wasn't all that dramatic, but I could just feel that alcohol and the painkillers had a "pull" that was becoming troubling ... I felt like I was slowly, subtly losing control. I also had a very negative, pessimistic mindset, despite having fortunate circumstances in my life ... it seemed I wasn't as happy as I could have been.

I thought about quitting for a year or two ... then one day, kind of out of the blue, I decided it was time, so I quit alcohol and pills. I went to AA because I wanted to take some kind of action to support my decision. I participated actively for a year, worked the steps with a sponsor, and got a lot out of it, although I also struggled with aspects that didn't make sense to me. It didn't seem like a fit for the long term.

I read a ton of books on addiction, visited a SMART meeting and a Lifering meeting. I discovered SR, and eventually discovered AVRT in the secular forum. Ultimately AVRT was the thing that seemed to most accurately fit my own inner perception of my addiction and life after addiction, so that is the paradigm through which I now operate.

In the 2+ years I've been sober, I've experienced so many unexpected gifts. The biggest changes have been to my mood and perception-- I've been freed from the depression that alcohol was causing, and I feel much more positive, grateful, calm, and present/awake to my own life. This change in me caused a positive shift in my marriage - communication and connection are much, much better.

Of course there were some uncomfortable moments, challenges, and difficulties getting used to living sober and not relying on chemicals to cope. But they weren't as hard as I had feared, and it has been very much worth it.
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:50 PM
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I guess I was your typical closet alcoholic. I ran a business, married for thirty years and fought an exhausting battle against alcohol everyday of my adult life. I'm in my fifties and I drank 6 to 10 beers every night got up, went to work and the cycle would continue. I can remember when six beers would get me drunk, then it would take 8 then 10. I have no idea where it would have stopped. I could sense that I was at i point of no return. I was slowly loosing the energy to fight. I knew if I didn't stop I would give up and let alcohol kill me. My wife actually told me she was preparing herself to find me dead one day.

So I knew it was now or never. I found SR dug in and never looked back. The first week I fought minute to minute, then hour to hour, now almost six months in I still think about it most days but it's to appreciate my sobriety. I have accomplished a lot in my life, but other than my family my sobriety means everything to me.
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Old 12-12-2016, 06:58 PM
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It has been a real challenge for me to quit drinking long term. I started drinking and smoking pot in high school. Black out drunk was my mode of operating and it got much worse in college. I drank almost every weekend and almost always blacking out. After college my drinking slowed but still had a blackout binge every few months. Over the past few years, it seems a blackout binge 1-2 a month. Never been a daily drinker. I am now 31 and have visited SR for a few years and haven't managed to quit alcohol for good. I just returned to this site and am recommitting to posting every day and putting a serious plan together to quit.

I know this peer support and community works because I've been over two years tobacco free with the help of a similar community. I'm very happy to be back and hope more people will sign up to join us on this sobriety journey. It takes effort, discipline, and courage and we all have the capacity to be sober.
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Old 12-12-2016, 07:05 PM
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I was a bottle to a bottle and a half of wine about four days a week kind of drinker. I held down a good job, ran a home and family. But alcohol was a constant millstone. I remember my first post on SR being along the lines of my being sick and tired of always being sick and tired.

So I read here. A lot. At least twice a day - first and last thing (a habit I maintain now, 7 months in). I went to bed early - I slept, I read books, I ate too much chocolate and ice cream. I joined the May 2016 class; I connected with other people at the same stage as me. I appreciated their support and enjoyed feeling helpful in being able to support them. I reached out to this community when I found things hard - I asked for words of wisdom and I listened to the answers I was given. I made small changes in my routine, which have supported my recovery - yoga, meditation, reading, physical activity. Above all, I've committed to change. There are times I've wanted to rebel against that commitment, when I've questioned why me, why can't I be normal. I've been reassured that's par for the course and that I'm where I'm meant to be at this point in time in my recovery. I've never felt alone in this journey. And all that's meant I'm grateful - for SR and for having a chance to change the direction of my life's course.

Life is better now that alcohol doesn't run the show. I run my life. And it turns out I'm a much better, stronger person than I ever gave myself credit for being. And I think we all have that in us.
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